INTO THE SWAMP

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Lil Poopy - Bout That Life (off Coke Ain’t A Bad Word, 2012, internets)

I’m afraid I still don’t “get” French Montana, a man whose sloppy presence on a song never really strikes me as deserving of more than a shoulder shrug. What he is great at is bumbling onto genius, like a Rap Game Frank Drebin. I could care less about Excuse My French, but I care about “fanute” becoming a buzzword despite not being what he intended to say (“from the hoopty-coupe”). I wasn’t wild about his Lock Out collaborative mixtape with Waka but I’ll forever cherish when he rapped that his guns sounded “like a metal band/Coldplay… U2”. And I can’t say I envision myself following his career after 2012’s faded into the recesses of my mind, but will recall with misplaced fondness that he used his fifteen minutes of fame to put on his own son.

Lil Poopy - yes, really - is an eight year old that recently dropped his debut mixtape Coke Ain’t A Bad Word onto an unsuspecting world*. I can report the following things happen before I resort to fanuting the entirety of my drinks cabinet: On one track Poopy - yes, really -  raps about playdates and iceskating while throwing subliminals at Bow Wow and Lil Romeo from fourteen years ago. Mixtape host Big Mike howls “POOPY DA DON!” over every track, his shame softened by complimentary Coke Boyz-emroidered Versace scarves. French shows up halfway through to get bodied by his own seed, his own seed. Somebody really wrote Poopy a freestyle with a double-entendre punchline involving Montana weedcarrier Chinx Drugs and Jeremy Lin that I’ll have to leave to your imagination**. There’s a freestyle over ‘The Motto’ that leads up to the line “OMG daddy, look at her butt, Poopy!” Nobody says “fanute”. Not even once. It’s all just so, so terrible. 

The one positive to take from this is the gonzo kid-trap anthem ‘Bout That Life’, where Poopy - yes, really - acquires a cartoonish bully-boy version of his father’s music over an uncredited beat that submerges itself in a rush of abrasive bubble noises every four bars. It’s all very odd, pushed into outright surreality by a famous rapper’s son bellowing the song’s title for the hook and refusing to divulge how much his deal costs. I’ll let you argue amongst yourselves over whether it’s responsible to have a pre-pubescent boy say “you never seen a better price/I get it to you cheap!”*** I’m just glad that French, by proxy, is continuing to accidentally fanute fascinating things into existence despite his lack of talent.

* In the case you were eagerly expecting this and aren’t related to French Montana in anyway, you are either a Coke Boyz fanboy(z) or shouldn’t be allowed around kids. No middle ground here.

** To counter what he’s just said, Poopy goes “—and that’s no racism!” Uh, it is.

*** Hint: Probably not!

fucknoreligiousfanart:

skull001:

vedj-f:

fucknoreligiousfanart:


so in this pic we see Amy crying, and she has a bruise on her cheek……yes, Sonic hit her…… i personaly find Amy at her cutest when she is sad, scared, hurt(emotionaly), or pleading. don’t get me wrong, i like when Amy is happy ans overjoied just as much, but theres just something about sad Amy…

What the fucking tits is wrong with you.

I DON’T GET DOMESTIC ABUSE COUPLING (straight and otherwise) AT ALL.

That Amy is way out of character… She might adore Sonic like no one in the world, however that does not mean she would take his BS in a stoic manner like a submissive/abused wife since Amy is a character with self-respect, dignity, and a huge toy hammer to go smashy-smashy.

I’m pretty sure that the main issue here isn’t whether or not a pink cartoon hedgehog from a video game is being accurately portrayed as a character.

Everytime I think the Internet’s eternal hall of mirrors couldn’t get any more absurd, it gives me a combination of surreal Sonic fanart and ridiculous Christian dogma. RUNNER-UP: Sonic crying for forgiveness regarding America’s “sins” of abortion.

fucknoreligiousfanart:

skull001:

vedj-f:

fucknoreligiousfanart:

so in this pic we see Amy crying, and she has a bruise on her cheek……yes, Sonic hit her…… i personaly find Amy at her cutest when she is sad, scared, hurt(emotionaly), or pleading. don’t get me wrong, i like when Amy is happy ans overjoied just as much, but theres just something about sad Amy…


What the fucking tits is wrong with you.

I DON’T GET DOMESTIC ABUSE COUPLING (straight and otherwise) AT ALL.

That Amy is way out of character… She might adore Sonic like no one in the world, however that does not mean she would take his BS in a stoic manner like a submissive/abused wife since Amy is a character with self-respect, dignity, and a huge toy hammer to go smashy-smashy.

I’m pretty sure that the main issue here isn’t whether or not a pink cartoon hedgehog from a video game is being accurately portrayed as a character.

Everytime I think the Internet’s eternal hall of mirrors couldn’t get any more absurd, it gives me a combination of surreal Sonic fanart and ridiculous Christian dogma. RUNNER-UP: Sonic crying for forgiveness regarding America’s “sins” of abortion.

I keep on expecting photos of myself to appear on Supreme Idiots but I am glad that I did stupid shit like this in an era before Tumblr.

I keep on expecting photos of myself to appear on Supreme Idiots but I am glad that I did stupid shit like this in an era before Tumblr.

Pharrell Williams, 38, in unflattering photo alert.

Pharrell Williams, 38, in unflattering photo alert.

Regardless of whether or not this is for real: MAN, sometimes I hate Star Wars so fucking much.

Regardless of whether or not this is for real: MAN, sometimes I hate Star Wars so fucking much.

(Source: willystaley)

prophetinplainclothes:

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not off the Tyler hype train yet (Go listen to him absolutely SLAY Pusha T on his own track) but there is no need for this. Lawl.

re: “Trouble On My Mind” - it’s close, very close, but Tyler comes out on top flow-wise. Pusha gets all the best lines though: “showing my black ass, engine in the glass house”.
Horrendous tattoo though.

prophetinplainclothes:

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not off the Tyler hype train yet (Go listen to him absolutely SLAY Pusha T on his own track) but there is no need for this. Lawl.

re: “Trouble On My Mind” - it’s close, very close, but Tyler comes out on top flow-wise. Pusha gets all the best lines though: “showing my black ass, engine in the glass house”.

Horrendous tattoo though.

Family Guy is probably my favourite show and I watch them every night I can. I know exactly when it comes on all the TV stations, even over here in London. I was watching it last night. My moment is when Brian came out in a banana suit and started singing, “It’s peanut butter jelly time”. I mess with Brian heavy. Another favourite episode is a sentimental one - it had no theme song to it and was just Brian and Stewie locked in a safe. That was the makers showing how creative they could get with it.

I just cannot tolerate Big Sean.

(via GQ UK)

This New Nas track

somanyshrimp:

Is pretty terrible. Sound & Fury signifying nothing. There’s nothing compelling undergirding the technique, the mythos he talks up is boilerplate, and the NO HOOK!!! maneuver is predictable. This is unfortunately the definition of empty calorie rap.

It’s okay. Everyone needs to calm down a bit. Let’s take this as an opportunity to remember “Make The World Go Round”, a song I haven’t listened to since Untitled leaked and I immediately deleted it:

This is just the laziest action. Not even the laziest song, video, nothing. “Make The World Go Round” is so lazy that it barely even functions as a synth preset on Cool and Dre’s Korgs. It is so lazy that it barely even strikes you as a miscalculation on Nas’s part after shunning his “shorty hold my ice” era. It’s very thin cotton. “Make The World Go Round” is a cigar made out of tracing paper and ash, a helicopter shot taken from the first act of The Corrupter, Game telling you “oh, I got another tattoo right HERE”. Nothing.

At least “Nasty” has that pulse behind it.